betamaxhubris

betamaxhubris @ 2008-05-17T11:58:00

2008-05-17T15:58:46Z

I'm breaking my live journal silence because... holy shit.

http://media.putfile.com/Verizon-Bad-Math

A genuine question.

2006-12-13T01:54:33Z

What is a "rock lobster"? I, for one, thought it was merely a B-52's song. But now, a commercial for some seafood restaurant has me believing that "rock lobster" is also a particular type of lobster.

Another question: does the fact that a "rock lobster" is a thing that exists in nature make said B-52's song more or less stupid? I have NO idea.

betamaxhubris @ 2006-10-24T18:17:00

2006-10-24T22:17:43Z

I start teaching tomorrow. I'm experience a strange mix of excitement and terror.

betamaxhubris @ 2006-10-24T13:37:00

2006-10-24T13:41:08Z

Yesterday, on 10/23, from 6:02 a.m. to 6:02 p.m., high school chemistry teachers across the country celebrated National Mole Day. They even had a theme song: "Mole Madness."

link to story: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6355951

In finding the link to the online article, I came across the "suggested links," wherein I saw a story regarding March 14, which is, apparently, National Pi Celebration day.

If only there were some clever date to put some sort of Literature-based holiday. Alas...

betamaxhubris @ 2006-06-20T23:09:00

2006-06-21T03:23:54Z

If you're bored, the good folks at pitchforkmedia (douchebags, I know) have kindly combed the depths of youtube to produce:

"100 awesome musice videos".

it is available at the following link:

http://pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/36588/Staff_List_100_Awesome_Music_Videos/page_1

There are too many to watch, unless you're REALLY bored, but allow me to recommend the following:

--Blur's "Coffee and TV" (i don't like Blur, either, but this video is fantastic, and i totally forgot about it until today)
--Kids Bop's "Since U Been Gone" (forgiving the hyperbole, the assessment of the reviewer is quite accurate
--David Brent's "If you don't know me by now" (Although, it's not nearly as funny if you haven't seen the British version of "The Office"
--David Lee Roth's "Just a Giggalo/I Ain't Got Nobody" (I admit that I think it's a genuinely funny video, but I also realize that it's probably equally funny in the "i can't believe women used to have sex with david lee roth" sort of way)
--Electric Six's "Danger (High Voltage)" (Ok, the video's not that great, but it's weird how a band can write one song that is this good, and then follow it up with nearly two full albums of shit)
--Decemberists' "Sixteen Military Wives" (Because the only thing better than political satire is political satire with a heaping bowlful of WHIMSY!)
--The Fiery Furnaces' "Tropical Iceland"

betamaxhubris @ 2006-02-17T08:53:00

2006-02-17T14:16:11Z

So there's this theory that if you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, one of them will use it to type out the collected works of Shakespeare.

The theory says more about the nature of infinity than about the nature of simians. Researchers somewhere, in what they call "performance art" rather than, you know, "research," put a personal computer into a monkey habitat in a zoo. The monkeys responded at first by attacking the monitor with rocks and sticks, then by defecating and urinating on the keyboard. Eventually, however, the monkeys realized the correlation between pressing buttons on the keyboard and changes on the monitor. In the end, they produced five pages of typed material, but it was mostly the letter "s," with a few "j"'s, "a"'s, and "l"'s mixed in in the final two pages.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-11-16T23:40:00

2005-11-17T04:40:41Z

This is the update wherein I attempt to comically suggest that I forgot to offer the sounds and mood that inspired the very post wherein i resolved to always be sure to make that information known, but it instead comes off as rehearsed and corny rather than funny.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-11-16T22:27:00

2005-11-17T03:30:21Z

Since i became a live journal reader, i've been intrigued by the "current mood" and "current music" tags. First of all, I find it strange that there need be a separate area with which to tell the world what music one is currently listening to. Secondly, while I understand the little icons that become visual representations of one's mood, i think the human condition is too complicated to be adequately described by one adjective chosen from a list of, what, twenty? However, since this information all seems important to someone, I shall do my best to, when I bother to update, relay to you the music i am listening to (if any) and the exact condition of my current mood.

A Brief Announcement

2005-11-07T01:27:39Z

"VOTE FOR PEDRO" shirts aren't funny anymore.

That is all.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-11-06T14:57:00

2005-11-06T20:00:03Z

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/06/magazine/06freak.html?8hpib

An interesting look at voting. I think all of the "civic duty" stuff is sort of comical, especially now, when we're often aware that the difference in candidates is generally nothing more than the level to which they will screw us. I think we, as a society, could do a hell of a lot more to change things for the better if we all didn't vote than if we continue to throw our votes at whichever candidate happens to scare us less. Afte r all, if you keep going to a restaurant, and they burn the food, bring it out late and cold, and then charge you too much for it, you'll eventually stop pouring your time and money into going to that restaurant. As this article suggests, we incur costs to vote for a candidate. Why should we give up those costs for an inadequate candidate.

At the same time, the result of the Swiss experiment in the article is telling. The suggestion that people vote for appearance rather than civic responsibility is too perfect for me to comprehend.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-10-30T19:52:00

2005-10-31T00:53:05Z

"once a human type is perfected--or almost perfected--it immediately becomes an anachronism and has no place in society."--Peter Taylor, "Dean of Men"

betamaxhubris @ 2005-10-30T12:02:00

2005-10-30T17:11:56Z

For a long time, there was a Little Italy cup impaled on one of the sharp points of the wrought iron fence surrounding the parking lot of the bank across the street from Little Italy. I almost always noted it on my way to work every morning. It was somewhat comforting, the way it stayed up there, oblivious to the wind, rain, light, darkness, and--perhaps most impressively--the unending line of drunk people who must walk by that spot every weekend. Today it was gone. I have no idea how it left. I suppose it doesn't matter. Against all odds, the cup had placed itself atop a high pedestal, and remained there for months, but now it is gone, doomed by mankind's refusal to use biodegradable materials to a near eternity in a city dump. As I walked further, though, I gained a new perspective. Perhaps the cup had freed itself from a humiliating position: impaled and on display like some wax-coated Lord of the Flies. As I walked further, I began to ponder another possibility: too much time doing GRE practices and producing terrible rough drafts of a personal statement is causing me to think way too much about pointless and idiotic things.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-10-09T19:59:00

2005-10-10T00:00:18Z

you know what I like to watch on TV? baseball. No. Wait. That's not true. I like watching the simpsons and king of the hill on TV.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-10-06T22:09:00

2005-10-07T02:09:37Z

Statements of Intent are extremely difficult to write without sounding like a douchebag.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-10-06T18:13:00

2005-10-06T22:15:03Z

When you post a comment on this website, it goes to the page where your comment appears, and below your name--but above the comment--it says, "comment posted successfully." Am I the only one who feels this information is unnecessary? I mean, you can see the comment there. Isn't that enough to prove the success of the posting? Apparently not.

people are strange

2005-09-26T20:47:55Z

weatherwars.info

Discuss.

a boring update on corey's life with few, if any, funny moments

2005-09-24T13:19:13Z

I'm too groggy to be funny, so here's the basic week in review:

Weekend in Atlanta. Good times. Saw Jake play soccer for eight and a half minutes. Then my parents and I drank two pitchers of bass at the mellow mushroom and discussed our distaste with the government. sunday was Ikea, which was a lot more fun than i thought it would be, then more pizza with my buddy Beth (oh, alliteration...how i've missed you). It was a good time, as well.

tuesday was the fiery furnaces. me and emily k went. it was a great show. the band was so much fun, and emily k liked them enough to not kill me. i also ran into a couple of my coworkers in an advanced state of drunkenness, which is always enjoyable.

the rest of the week was pretty laid back. i think i got a bit of a cold so last night and thursday night i was lame and went to bed early. but before sleep on friday, i got a two hundred dollar bonus at work. in the afternoon, katie and I played some Animal Crossing, which was fun. Finally, I went out for mexican food and Junebug with katie, maggie (who is always fun when in town), and emily d.

go see junebug. it's pretty damn good.

today, i'm jogging, cleaning my room, deciding what to spend that kick-ass bonus on, and going to see Sufy with Katharine. should be an enjoyable day.

What does a sad pirate sound like?

2005-09-20T04:22:28Z

It turns out that yesterday was national talk like a pirate day. Do you have any idea how many people I could have annoyed/amused had I known this fact 24 hours ago? (Beth, I assure you, I would have phoned you to discuss steering wheels in odd locations).

betamaxhubris @ 2005-09-19T21:02:00

2005-09-20T01:17:12Z

So... If anybody is free tomorrow night and wants to go with me to see the Fiery Furnaces, I will buy your ticket and, perhaps, a PBR or two. Just let me know.

In other news, oh my god, we might be running out of names for hurricanes. Fortunately, great minds at the National Hurricane Center have produced a contingency plan:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WEATHER/09/19/storm.names/index.html

Though I find it strange that hurricanes are the only natural disasters that are named after people, I sort of enjoy the practice. Every year, around the beginning of the season, I get a little excited, hoping that, maybe this year, my name will come up. I meet each new list with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Because though part of me wants my namesake to churn up the Atlantic, a bit of my consciousness is afraid of it happening. Because once THAT happens, it's really all downhill, isn't it?

betamaxhubris @ 2005-09-17T11:18:00

2005-09-17T15:20:57Z

Sorry, not the best picture of it, but George W. Bush has a vagina for a neck:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/09/images/20050915-8_speech-515h.html

betamaxhubris @ 2005-09-14T23:50:00

2005-09-15T03:52:01Z

And, yes, my condemnation of the Reese's brand name even extends to those seasonally appropriate peanut butter cups, no matter how heavenly they may taste.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-09-14T23:32:00

2005-09-15T03:45:17Z

today, i totally went inside the Fred Building. And i don't mean i just walked in to do it. I had actual business at the Fred Building. The weird thing is, though it was thoroughly exciting to finally live out that dream, I felt slightly hollow, as if stepping over that threshold killed something deep inside me. Then I realized I was just hungry, and ate a Reese's.

Which reminds me: why do we pronounce Reese's wrong? Why the long E in the second syllable? How did this happen? Even more curious, the pronunciation of "pieces" has been changed to force a rhyme with the mispronounced possessive form of "reese." Who do we blame for this instance brand imaging run amok? Hershey's? Stephen Spielberg? No, my friends. The blame lies with you and I. Each peanut butter cup or piece Hershey sells is another bit of silent support for their horrendous assault on the English language.

A-Changin', indeed

2005-09-12T21:03:17Z

"The times they are a-changin'" is now appearing in a commercial for corporate health insurance provider Kaiser Permanente. Suprisingly, I wasn't all that bothered by it. I think what saved me is the fact that, like "Finnegan's Wake" or the voice of God, the irony of this mismatch is far too complex for any one person to fully comprehend.

betamaxhubris @ 2005-09-11T19:14:00

2005-09-11T23:42:03Z

Welcome to the first--and, based on my attention span, quite possibly the final--posting of goodness from Corey. I feel the need to go outdoors, so I will be shortly leaving for a walk or jog or trip to Hot Corner for a pastry (yes, I realize the disparity of those choices. Welcome to my interstellar myocardium).

About twenty minutes previous to now, wracked by intense boredom, I turned on the Agassi-Federer match. But fate seemed already sealed in New York, so the match provided little entertainment. I glanced over at a deck of cards that has randomly wound up on my coffee table at some point during the wanton recklessness that occurred friday evening, and thought, "hey, haven't played solitare in awhile..." Luckily, before I finished dealing the game, I thought better of my actions, put the cards away, and saved myself from the deep shame spiral that would have certainly come with a completed game of solitare. Idle hands...

Also, I downloaded the new Fiery Furnaces album. Now, for those of you who don't know, the Fiery Furnaces are a brother-sister band that play a weird sort of multi-movement pop not unlike the Who at their most cinematic or, perhaps, Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" (only with a shit-ton more keyboards). topics very, but include an 9 and a half minute opus about pirates overtaking a ship full of blueberries. The experience provides an equal number of moments where one thinks "wow, that's really catchy," and "wow, what the fuck is going on here?"

Said new album, entitled "rehearsing my choir," is a lose concept album about their grandmother. This grandmother actually offers her vocal stylings throughout the album. The result is strange, but also really neat. They're playing the 40 Watt on September 20th (sans Grandma, i think, unfortunately), if anyone is interested in attending (Katie, who is thoroughly annoyed by the band, has offered to attend with me if i absolutely need somebody to go with, but I'd rather not put her through that ordeal unless it's absolutely necessary).